I feel like crap

Is it a bad thing when all you can do is sit and think about how much you wish you were dead? Not in any "where's the knife, it's time to check out' sort of way, but in a quietly desparate sort of way. A 'I want to, but I'm too damn tired, how about tomorrow instead?' kind of thing. And tomorrow just happens to be my day for seeing the T-doc.

MW is home through tomorrow. I should be thrilled! So why do I feel so bad? Aside from the missed doses, of course. Bi-polars 'skip doses because they miss being manic.' I call bullshit on that one. If I were manic, I'd feel a lot better than I do now.

The hunt for the elusive bathing suit goes on. We went to Waynesburg, PA in search of one, but neither of the fat women's stores had them yet. I'd give up, but I promised Xander that I'd start swimming with him.

MW brought his old XM radio with him, along with the home kit he bought the last time he was in. It's all set up in the living room. I've been listening to the 60's station the most, but I love the 'old time radio' station as well. I'm looking forward to listening to more stations.

Off to bed soon, I guess. I have a meeting with my son's teacher and principal in the morning. I get to ask his teacher to fill out a bunch of forms, because he's OCD and possibly ADHD. I don't care what letters they pick out for him, he's my Xander, and that's all that counts.

I guess I have to stay around for him. Damn.